kindness don’t ask for much
I grew up in a family of yellers. home was generally quiet, but my parents would yell even when something wasn’t a huge deal. it could get nasty sometimes, but often it was just reactionary.
this is different from a noisy household; it was always just me, my mom and my dad. a lot of the time just my mom and I, as my dad traveled a lot for work.
I’m not sure when or where it rubbed off on me, but after watching and listening to my parents fight, and then fight with them myself once I was old enough to cop an attitude, it did.
I used to bring the mean out of mild mannered significant others. and when they weren’t mild mannered to begin with, disagreements would just get ugly. after watching my parents all those years - who are still together somehow, and are a little more laid back these days - I knew exactly how to not let things go and press people’s buttons. I abhorred it in friendships and with colleagues, but it persisted in romantic relationships. even the ones that were mostly peaceful.
I finally decided I didn’t want to do that anymore. when I took so much time being single I made sure to resolve to avoid anyone who would bring that kind of behavior out in me, or possess it themselves.
the man in my life now gets upset with himself when he slips and raises his voice to anyone, or anything. I haven’t seen it happen and I honestly can’t picture it, nor can I picture being the least bit angry with him over anything. he agrees that kindness and trying to work something out with a rational approach - even if it means suffering through a little bit of irrationality first - is how things should be handled. calm down, come back to it when you can think straight. consider how the other person feels.
I’m still working on having patience in my life in general, but I do know I’m ready to be empathetic with those I love. I think I’m already pretty good at that. I also want to do everything I can to try to be emotionally healthy. some days are really hard, and I just try to ride it out. I’ll get there.
Leave Note / Reblog
real talk cac
